They thought it wouldn’t last. Oh, nobody said it to our faces, but there were people who thought it and maybe whispered it when we weren‘t around.

I mean if you looked at the facts on paper, the odds were probably stacked against us. Good thing we didn’t take that into consideration and didn’t make our decision based on what the probability looked like on paper.

We were, after all, one of those “odd” couples separated in age by more than one or two years. To make it even more interesting, I, a female, was the one who had more birthdays in her column.

I’d like to say that we knew for sure what we were getting into, but that would not be entirely true. What we did know for sure was that we had something special, and we wanted to spend our time experiencing that specialness. Best of all, we liked each other.

Of course, everyday life plants itself in the middle of special and invites you to travel with its twists and turns. Holding on to what enticed you to start the journey together is the test of whether or not your something special endures.

I’m happy to say in a few days, we celebrate 30 years of life taking us up and sometimes dropping us down. We laughed and cried and at times went to our particular corners and chose not to speak for a while.

Together we wove three children and two adults into a blended family and added a child of our own to that mix. Then we watched those amazing children become amazing adults. There was a fair amount of laughing and crying involved with that experience too.

We moved past unexpected job changes and the lean days when we waited for a paycheck before we made a trip to the grocery store. Some how we always knew tough times would work themselves out if we just held on to each other.

Over the years, we learned about grief as we said goodbye to a father on one side and a mother on the other. We lived through the unimaginable pain of losing a baby. And, we discovered our losses brought us closer instead of pulling us apart.

Perhaps, our greatest gift and our greatest learning experience came with the child we created. She took us into the land of autism where she lives and we found ways of understanding and knowing about living that are different from what we knew before she arrived. And when many couples who have children with autism found it frayed the threads of their marriages, our precious child only made our tapestry stronger and more colorful.

When we started, we had fewer wrinkles and joints that didn’t announce themselves when we got up in the morning. Now we look at each other and see the gray creeping into our hair and the creases around our eyes when we laugh, and we do laugh. How very silly we can be is a secret we keep from everyone but each other.

Looking back I see that there was some miraculous something that set us on a path that made our lives intersect. Whether you believe in fate or not, I believe it was no accident I found the perfect friend who became my best partner for life.

In fact, as the years pass, we find we are much more than friends and lovers; we are mirrors that help us see the best parts of ourselves. And we share the roles of teacher and student, learning how to live and love better as we experience life.

Yes, we knew there were folks who didn’t think this marriage between two people who knew each other only six months before making a lifetime commitment would last. I am so glad to report that they were wrong and that after 30 years we are still enjoying the journey.

“Grow old along with me — the best is yet to be…”

 

Nancy Blackmon is a former newspaper editor and a yoga teacher.